I cant forgive people with no common sense. If you are putting on weight because you have not exercised in a long while.. then chuck the pizzas and get your damn running shoes on. Go home and eat some lettuce or something.Climb those 5 floors to reach your apartment. Eat an apple for dinner. Or just look in the mirror and remind yourself that you have piled on something like 10 kgs in the last couple of years because you don’t walk more than a block.

I don’t know the statistics of people who are malnourished or starved. But my intuition tells me it is a number significant enough to make people who grow obese on junk food, criminals!

Ok, I am not against fat people. That’s not my point at all. I do not have anything against anyone. But I cannot forgive lethargy and stupidity. Being fat could be due to many many different reasons. Genetic, hormonal disorder etc. I am not a health expert to make conclusions. But you don’t need to be a health expert to say that healthy food and exercise keep you active, agile and productive. I can see this for myself.

Well, I believe there is a choice in everything and you simply need to stop taking life for granted.

I am confused. With love. With life. With thoughts and thinking.

I have discovered… rather experienced , that honesty is indeed the best. The kind of lies I am talking about are the worst ever.. for they were told by me, to me. A whole load of self deception and tricks.
But I finally got caught by the one woman who knows me too well.

She just has this feeling about me.. like fish has about water. I am forced to believe the many weird theories I have read about the umblical connection because she is living testimony to it. She scares me sometimes because she senses me so well. Note, I didnt say she ‘knows me’. I said she ’senses me’. She simply has this intuition about me 2000 miles away and about things that happened to me today , yesterday and the many many days before that,even though I have not spoken a word about it.

This is going to be cliched.. but I have to put it down anyway. She is God. She has every quality that I would expect in God. To begin with, she created me. I owe this blood and flesh to the many months of agony she put up with while I kicked around floating in her tummy. She even cleaned my poop and stayed awake to put me to sleep I suppose.

She is the deepest connection I have with humanity and human relations.

She is my deepest bondage..

oh wonderful one.. what have you done to me?

I dont see the world as beautiful nor do I see it as pain.. I am just seeing it as an opportunity to grow. Being with you is a dream and a nightmare…You have destroyed my deception, you have shown me every flaw in my assumptions of my self. What I held as dear has become insignificant now and replaced by something so simple yet potent.

 A streak of madness has taken root in me for I break into a melody for nothing. Is this poison or is it nectar? What did I do to deserve this? How do I give you anything in return? The responsibility excites yet scares me..